The Killer (SIYKWIDLFt13th)
The Killer is a parody of Ghostface and the main antagonist of the 2000 parody slasher film Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th. Unlike his inspiration, The Killer is extremely incompetent, and more times than not, his victims end up killing themselves in freak accidents or getting away. At the end, he is revealed to be Officer Doughy's evil twin cousin, and is thought to be killed when Hagitha Utslay accidentally shoots Doughy's revolver. However, he survives his injuries and moves to Pacoima, CA where he becomes the manager of a donut shop. Back at Bulimia Falls High School, an unknown person takes up the identity of The Killer and continues Hardy's work. He was voiced by Chris Palermo and portrayed by Tom Arnold. Physical Appearance The Killer is 6' 1" and wears a long black hooded robe, black gloves, and a pair of white combat boots with black laces. In the beginning of the movie, The Killer wears a white hockey mask. After lighting a cigarette, his mask catches fire and melts, revealing a mask that resembles the classic mask from Scream underneath, though The Killer's mask is larger and much more misshapen. Biography Spring Break Massacre Late one night, The Killer sneaks up to the house of a teenage girl. He calls her on the phone and asks her a mathematical question, but she is confused as she never learned math, much to The Killer's annoyance. The call is ended when he falls into her pool. Screw goes back to decorating her cake, but she gets another call from The Killer. While she is taking the call, The Killer sneaks into her house. On the phone he asks her "who's buried in Grant's tomb," to which she responds with "Hugh Grant," but she gets the question wrong and The Killer pops out of the giant cake she was decorating. He dives at her and chases her around the counter, before eventually chasing her outside and face first into a bug zapper. Disappointed that he didn't get to kill her, The Killer tries to light a cigarette, but accidentally lights his mask on fire. The hockey mask melts and he puts the fire out by sticking his face into a bird bath. Throughout the next day, The Killer can be seen killing or attempting to kill people around the school. He attempts to choke a teenage boy with dental floss, but the floss breaks and the boy gets away. While Hagitha is talking to Doughy, The Killer pulls a cameraman into the van and murders him off-screen. In Martina's class, he puts a noose around the teacher's neck. In swimming class, he drags away one of the students. In the hallway, he emerges from one of the lockers and drags a student into it. Outside, during another conversation between Doughy and Hagitha, The Killer lassos another cameraman and pulls him off-screen. Meanwhile, The Killer leaves notes for the five main characters to find, claiming that he knows that Martina forgot to give her grandma her laxatives, Boner forgot to mail his brother's appeal to The Governor, Slab smoked his Uncle's ashes, and Barbara took the tag off of a mattress. The five weren't the only ones to receive the notes, as the whole school did, but most people just threw them in a trash bin labeled "Notes from The Killer." Immediately after lunch, The Killer tries to kill Barbara, Slab, Martina, Boner, and Dawson. He attacks Barbara in the bathroom, but she manages to get away by popping a Mentals (a parody of Mentos) and putting a sheet over him. Then he tries to run over Slab in auto shop, but is stopped and pulled over by a police officer. While Martina is running track, he appears behind her, but forgets what he's doing when people start cheering for him and focuses on beating her in a race instead. Afterwards, he goes to the showers to freshen up, but Boner expecting to see naked girls, looks through a peephole and sees him. The Killer puts his knife through the hole after hearing Boner's voice, but Boner avoids being stabbed and crawls away. He goes after Dawson in Sex Ed class, when Dawson is tasked with putting fuel in the projector, but Dawson escapes by crawling under his robe. After failing to kill his five main targets, The Killer shows up in Principal Interest's room and tries to murder him with Suck'Em Doppels (a parody of Socker Boppers), however before he can, a frying pan comes flying through the window and hits the principal in the head, knocking him into the hot tub and electrocuting him. The Killer, annoyed that he didn't get to kill the principal, calls the person that threw the frying pan a wannabe and leaves. That night at Slab's house, while everyone is downstairs learning the rules of being in a parody, The Killer pops up with a chainsaw and interrupts Boner as he's about to take advantage of a girl he drugged. Before The Killer can put the chainsaw to use, Boner has a heart attack and supposedly dies. Frustrated, he kicks the bed and the headboard crashes down on top of the drugged girl. When Barbara goes to get more beer, The Killer follows her into the garage with a power drill. Barbara tries to escape through the kitty door, but she gets stuck and The Killer tries lifting the garage door only for it to come back down. He tries again and again, until the machine malfunctions. Barbara ditches her fake boobs and fits through the flap, but The Killer chases her and corners her with a weed whacker. However, she is stung by bees and dies from allergies before The Killer can kill her. Revelation and Ending After the students are informed that their principal was found dead, all of the kids leave to go see if they can play Weekend at Bernie's with the dead body. Martina, Dawson, and Slab stay behind, but Slab overdoses on steroids in the bathroom which ends up exploding his head. The Killer shows up and chases Dawson and Martina, ending when he jumps and crashes into the front of the house. Dawson and Martina lock the door behind them, but are greeted by The Killer riding down the stairs on a sled. They avoid him and he crashes, but gets right back up and fights with them. Martina punches him in the face multiple times and he's finally defeated. They unmask him, but find that he's wearing a seemingly endless array of masks. While they're pulling off all his masks, Doughy hears the sound effect that plays every time a mask comes off and heads inside. Dawson finally gets to the last mask and reveals The Killer as Hardy, Doughy's evil twin cousin. Martina finds a fan hidden in his robe, explaining how Hardy disguised his voice. Doughy shows up and Hardy surrenders and says that he's sorry about the murders and asks if he can make it up to his cousin. Doughy forgives Hardy and the two are about to hug, but Hardy is shot by a reckless Hagitha using the revolvers reflection to check her make-up. As he is being wheeled out on a gurney, The Killer wakes up and rises, but is shot by Doughy. He gets up from that and is beaten by two police officers with bats. After getting up from that, he runs to a payphone and calls Dawson, but Dawson hangs up on him. Where Are They Now After surviving his injuries, Hardy changed his name and moved to Pacoima, California where he became a manager for a donut shop and an active member of the PTA. Meanwhile, back at Bulimia Falls High School, a new killer takes Hardy's place. Victims Murders *1: EmpTV Cameraman | Pulled into van and killed off-screen. (Hardy) *2: Mrs. Tingle | Hanged, off-screen. (Hardy) *3: Teenage Girl | Gagged and dragged away, unknown, killed off-screen. (Hardy) *4: Teenage Girl | Dragged into locker, unknown, killed off-screen. (Hardy) *5: EmpTV Cameraman | Lassoed and killed off-screen. (Hardy) *6: EmpTV Employee | Force fed can of spray cheese. (Hardy) *7: Teenage Boy | Netted, judo chopped, and killed off-screen. (New Killer) Accidents *1: Screw Frombehind | Electrocuted with a bug zapper, gutted afterwards. *2: Barbara Primesuspect | Allergic reaction after being stung by bees. Attempted *1: Teenage Boy | Strangled with dental floss, survived. (Hardy) *2: Slab O'Beef | Attempted vehicular manslaughter. (Hardy) *3: Boner | Heart attack induced, survived. (Hardy) Possible *3 unnamed students | Unknown, died off-screen. (Hardy, presumably) *Drugged Girl | Hit on the head with the headboard of the bed. (Hardy, presumably) *Saxophone Player | Unknown. (Hardy, presumably) Weapons and Equipment Weapons *Hunting knife *Dental floss *Noose *Lasso *Red Plymouth Fury *Can of spray cheese *Paper *Broken bottle *Suck'Em Doppels *Chainsaw *Power drill *Weed Whacker Equipment *'Desk fan:' Used to disguise his voice. *'Masks:' **Mylec Pro Goalie Mask **Burlap sack **Hannibal Lecter mask **Abraham Lincoln mask **Pig mask **Jack O'Lantern mask **Lady Liberty mask **Theatre Comedy mask **Bill Clinton mask **Horse head mask *'Disguises:' **Baseball cap and backpack **Swimming gear **Cowboy Hat **Crossing Guard outfit *'Metal Protective cup:' Worn to prevent kicks in the groin from being effective. Quotes Trivia *The Killer makes references to other movies. **When calling people, he addresses them as Cindy. **The Killer's first mask is a hockey mask. **The Killer quotes ''The Wizard of Oz'' after his mask catches fire. **The Killer leaves the five main characters notes claiming that he knows what they did last summer/semester/Chanukah/period. **When attempting to kill Slab, The Killer drives a car that looks similar to Christine. *Unlike in the Scream films, where the in-universe films are referred to as Stab, the Scream movies exist in this universe. **Martina brings up the first movie when explaining the rules. **Hardy refers to Billy and Debbie Loomis, when he is unmasked. **Hardy yells the name Sidney when Martina touches his groin while searching for the desk fan hidden in his robe. *It's not clear as to if the hockey mask melted and became the Scream mask, or The Killer was wearing the Scream mask underneath the hockey mask. Category:Comedy Villains Category:Enigmatic Category:Homicidal Category:Incompetent Category:Inconclusive Category:Karma Houdini Category:Legacy Category:Live Action Villains Category:Male Category:Movie Villains Category:Parody/Homage Category:Perverts Category:Psychopath Category:Related to Hero Category:Rogues Category:Serial Killers Category:Stalkers Category:Thief Category:Twin/Clone Category:Type Dependent on Version